Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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