i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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