Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
