So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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