Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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