Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
