Soap is not a condiment
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
