I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
