i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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