I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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