you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
