I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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