I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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