i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.