he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
