He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
