well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize