she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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