we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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