Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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