but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
