Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
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I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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