I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
