i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
