i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
