don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
