My first STD was from a foam party
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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