Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
