I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
