watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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