Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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