Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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