i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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