This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
