a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
