I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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