Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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