don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
