WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
