In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
