So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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