I must be too annoying 4 u.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
