I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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