mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
