you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
