she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I currently don't understand fingers.
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