Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
