Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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