i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
