my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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