Just cropdusted the office
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
