I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
