This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
