sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
