I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
