So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
