"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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