I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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