he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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