It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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