There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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