the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
