Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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